I know it’s going to be some years before that happens but just the thought of that had my eyes teary. He’s with us all the time, it’s going to be so hard to let go of his hands on his first day, even if it’s only for a few hours. *sob* I worry about how he is going to cope at school; with homework, with teachers, with friends. Then I worry about if he’s going to be badly-influenced by his peers; to smoke, to do drugs, to have sex. Later I will worry about if he’s able to graduate from school, from uni and whether he will be able to find a proper job, to support himself. After that I worry about if he’s able to find his one true love, his life partner (a female preferably, if not then that’s another thing to worry about) and stay true to her for the rest of his life. All these worries only for ONE child and with no grandchildren. I heard somewhere before that “worry is part of a parent’s job description”. [By the end of this paragraph I’ve used one tissue]
All these made me think back when I was a child myself and how my parents felt when they dropped me off on my first day. My mother was a tough lady on the outside. I never had the chance to ask how she felt on the day she sent me to school. I don’t remember my first day at kindergarten. I vaguely remembered my first day at primary school. My dad had to work so obviously my mum was the one who sent me to school. The school was very near my house, just about 10 minutes walk. I forgot how we got into our classrooms and our seats but I remembered that after the class started many of the parents were still standing outside the classroom and some children cried for their parents. After a while my mum waved goodbye to me and I bravely waved back. I’m not sure if she came during recess (I think she must have, and brought me some food too) but she came and pick me up when school ended for the day. [By the end of this paragraph I’m sobbing non-stop and have used three tissues including the one before. I have also caught my husband’s attention and he gave me a comforting hug, thanks!]
Actually I never meant to write the paragraph above but I just got to thinking what happened when my mum let go of my hands on my first day. Just that two word ‘my mum’ had tears running down my face again. [Moving on to my fourth tissue now]
This was meant to be a short post and I got a little bit side-tracked. This was what I wanted to write originally. I was searching on the internet about the school systems over here because I have only the slightest ideas about them. Preschool is at age 4, then not really sure about the kindy, reception and year 1 age. I was told that year 1 is age 7, which makes reception age 6, and kindy age 5. Primary school is from reception to year 7 and secondary school is from year 8 to year 12. Preschool is not necessary but I was told that if he attends preschool that is attached with a primary school then he most probably would have made some friends when he enters reception. Also I thought if we send him to preschool we learn to ‘let go’ earlier. Preschool consists of 3-hour session per day for a maximum of four sessions a week. There are about 10 weeks in a term and 4 terms in a year.
That was the furthest I ventured so far. I still want to find out the difference to public and private education here although our chances of getting Ethan into a private school would be next to impossible. I shall stop now before I go any further. I will find out more about public and private and blog about that as another topic later.
P/S: Sorry if I got too emotional on this topic.
7 responses so far ↓
1 whoisbaby // Jul 18, 2007 at 2:38 am
of course lar any thing about our mom it will shed a few tears … becos now we are moms ourselves we can understand and appreciate her more (but that time i already know) … and furthermore if she is still with us today, we can share our feeling with her … but since she is not … it is a little emotional lar.
Yes, it’s so hard. But lucky I got YOU! See, maybe it is fate that we have babies at the same time. She arranged this for us, I just know it!
2 Mommibee // Jul 18, 2007 at 1:11 pm
poor u, i can imagine how much u miss ur dear mom. wow u sure think a whole lot abt ethan huh? that’s good.
Yes, I do miss her, more when I think of motherhood. About Ethan, I try not to think too much of the times far ahead of us and just want to enjoy him now. But once in a while it comes to my head. I was just searching for a preschool, then the more I read, the more I think…haiyo, dowan to search already la!
3 Sweetpea // Jul 19, 2007 at 10:37 pm
and i tag you back!
http://sweetpeamy.blogspot.com/2007/07/tag-1-million-rm-or-aud.html
Wah, a million $$$, I’d love to do this one. Let’s just hope it comes true! hahaha…
4 Angeleyes // Jul 20, 2007 at 1:29 pm
aawww…. so sad to read your story lar…
Anyway, I’ve yet to venture into that partly because I’ve the intention to home school Darrius but after much consideration, I might want to put him in a playgroup so he can mix around an not being so lonely at home. Though he’s a very social guy but I think it will do him some good to let him mix a little.
You want to home school Darrius? Can you do that? Like for how long? It is good to let him mix around with toddlers his age. They learn more by playing with others.
5 Cooper's Mum // Jul 20, 2007 at 8:38 pm
Have loved reading through your blog I feel I know you so much better now. I relate to everything you are feeling about Ethan and school, the same thoughts have gone through my head this week. Isnt it funny how motherhood can make you realise how important your own mum is. How hard this must be without her, but I am sure she is with you in other ways watching over you and your family.
Hi, thanks for visiting! Like I mentioned before, you are one efficient mum. Just sent you my website a few hours ago and now I see your comment. Glad you liked the blog. It’s just so hard to let them go when you’re with them 24/7, well you’ve been practising for quite a while now by leaving Cooper with your parents. Didn’t get the chance to ask you today but how did you feel when you started working again? How was it like not having him around you for the whole day? Must’ve been hard. Thanks for your sympathy. It’s just so sad that I cannot share my feelings with my mum now, can’t ask her for advice or anything. I’ll have my sister now, and it’s a good thing that we went to the prem playgroup or else I wouldn’t have met you and other mums. Thanks again for having us over today.
6 merry // Jul 21, 2007 at 2:45 am
wow… u really can make people sad just to read ur blog ya. talented writer la u.. hehehe.. ya.. think of it.. when u become mother only u know how is the feeling. by reading and listen to ur story, i’m sure she is a very great mother and i’m sure that she is watching u closely and protecting u from “there”.
i have same feeling also. when i left ryan with my MIL,(very seldom), most of the time for facial which is quite long hours (4hours) i will call her few times plus the sms-es ask how’s ryan.. blabla.. hope she is not bored with me hahahaha and cannot stop thinkin of him. i will bring him everywhere i go except the places that i cant bring him such as hospitals..and facial and barber shop. never had dinner outside without ryan, even PIL(parents in law) ask me not to bring him… feel like i missed something and not comfy… sometimes i just wish that someone taking care of him but if the PIL offered, i just cant let him go.. argh… (jo: mer go start a blogs):p
Nolah, I didn’t write to make people feel sad, I just wrote what I felt, not talented cause if talented I would’ve had a book published by now…haha. About the facial, I don’t think I can make it, I can’t leave Ethan with auntie right? hehehe…Wah, you leave for 4 hours also so worried already? Then it’s going to be harder for you. I don’t mind leaving Ethan with MIL while I go out. I do give her a call just to know if everything’s alright but not as many as you la…hahah…Yes Mer, go start a blog!
7 Angeleyes // Jul 27, 2007 at 12:21 am
My hubby is very paranoid about those sickness lar… HFMD and so on… that’s why he wanted me to do home schooling
But are you allowed to do home schooling? How long can you keep Darrius in? He’s gonna grow up anyway. Not good if no friends to mix around with, unless you give him a little brother or sister…heheheh…
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